Every week there are huge news stories that can concern the world, but in amongst the serious news are piles of ridiculousness. That’s what this series is going to try and do; show you some of the best and most silly stories that have happened this week that maybe you missed, instead of lumping on more misery. Because that’s just not what anyone wants to read on a Friday now, is it?
“Elderly man lucky to be alive after fall on mobility scooter”
Ah, The Packet. Local news outlet for where I studied Journalism in Falmouth, it was often a vernacular talking point among our course for the type of material it heralded as ‘news’, and there’ll be plenty of it on this series. One of the top stories this week, some poor bloke somehow managed to send his mobility scooter 15 feet over the edge of a wharf, with him on it.
A ‘major rescue’ operation was launched to save both him and his vehicle from the mud. The 93-year-old made a full recovery though, so he’ll be careering through the South West again soon.
Weird Verdict: Muddy marvellous
“The recurring Facebook privacy hoax”
You’ve probably seen plenty of this one and know exactly what it’s about. The STI of social media is back, the ‘slightly legalese copyright exemption’ status plaguing News Feeds far and wide. First originating back in 2012, it seems to spread every time Facebook pushes an update or changes its service, with a great deal of it incorrect or just plain made up.
If you have a Facebook account, you accepted the terms (whether you read them through thoroughly before you went to bed each night or not) and posting a status claiming that everything you post will stay yours is just not true. If you want to stay 100% safe on Facebook, delete your account.
Weird Verdict: See relationship > Unfriend
“Should this man’s tattoos influence his murder trial?
If you have a look at the original article, you’ll see that this blokes tattoos are pretty extreme, noticeably the fact that he’s coloured in HIS EYE. That’s what I want to focus on here, with an article on the Metro recently regurgitating Vice‘s post a year ago about a Jamaican trend of tattooing your peepers.
That guy Mace did it, someone called Alkaline did it, and despite hundreds of people accusing them of faking it, you’ve gotta admit that it’s pretty freakin’ weird, regardless. They almost went blind doing it, despite the process of eye-inking sounding much more tame when professionally described as “tattooing the eyeball is sort of like ‘dropping paint on the floor and watching it spread’”. Nah, you’re alright.
Weird Verdict: Halloween 24/7
“US judge accepts trainers as bond”
Paying bail with actual money is so 2014, at least in this case. A judge accepted a pair of $85 trainers as payment for charges of drug possession after offering the defendant the ‘chance to be creative’.
The prosecuted had gone through a costly divorce so was allowed to use the shoes as down-payment, getting them back after paying $100 or doing 10 hours of community service. Nike job, Massachusetts.
Weird Verdict: FootLocker Loans Ltd.
“Nike’s self-lacing Back to the Future shoes coming this year”
This one’s not weird, it’s downright awesome so I had to include it – it’s about time. From one Nike story to another, the company have announced that the MAG shoes seen in Back to the Future II will be released before the end of the year – including power laces. Infamous for being Marty McFly’s shoes when he visited 2015, they quickly became a style icon in themselves – I know I’ve wanted a pair of these ever since I first saw the movie.
Ready for the film’s jump 30 years ahead of its time, Nike are even planning to make the self-lacing part of the high-tops a reality. No pink hover boards yet though.
Weird Verdict: Maximum Capacitor Fluxing